sub54
Sent: Wednesday, 28 September 2005 3:21 PM
To: Family Responsibilities
Subject: Striking the Balance
STRIKING THE BALANCE
First of all it would be great for society to place more value on unpaid work in
the home. Cleaning and child care even when carried out by professionals is
viewed as menial work. Although people that work as professional carers
certainly do bond with children and have a massive input into the child's
future, the work is often under valued and that shows in the financial rewards
per hour for those professionals. Cleaners also work very physically for many
hours at a time but the financial reward is again low.
Why would anyone choose to do house work or child care if it is viewed as
menial? Fathers say they would like to do more child care and house work but do
they really want to do any job that is under-valued by society? I don't believe
they do. Fathers know that the work needs to be done but it would be rare for
them to view it as the same value as for example being a chemist or a carpenter.
Cleaning the home, shopping and child care are not jobs that receive respect.
Fathers do take more of a role in child care these days but they generally do
the more 'glamorous' roles such as teaching their children how to compete in a
sport or simply being available to collect their children from child
care/school. They are willing to participate in the child's memorable moments.
Very few men are going to want the job of sweeping the family room tiles or
vacuuming the bedrooms in the evenings after work. They choose to do the
gardening which has more noticeable results. People like to see results, they
want to see their achievements. Full time workers see the money building in
their bank accounts, stay at home workers see clean floors for just a few hours
and then nobody remembers that the work was ever done. Savings build up in the
bank account and then instigate investment opportunities that will be valued in
the future as well as at the present time. Child care and clean houses are
simply taken for granted even though they are very time consuming and important
to the comfort of living. We put a dollar value on time - cleaning and child
care are given low dollar values.
Men are not about to choose to stay home and do a low dollar value job. Men that
work in low income jobs may choose to be more involved in house work and child
care and do less outside of the home work. The dollar is definitely involved in
the decision on who stays at home and who goes out to work. When both couples
are working they are likely to opt for a situation that gives the couple the
highest income. Money talks and the highest paid person goes to full time work,
whilst the lower paid person may do no paid work, part-time work or full time
work. Hired help is paid for, according to how much time is required to be
bought by the couple. If both partners are on low incomes and hired help is out
of the question then house work suffers, nutrition suffers as nobody wants to
cook or shop regularly and the children suffer because both parents are
exhausted.
We all want to do the 'glamorous work' - work that can be seen and valued by
others. The dollars in the bank, the memories in the minds of our children, that
is what we are willing to work for. Who cares who cleaned the toilet last
Friday, nobody is going to value that. Soccer coach or netball manager, those
are the valued roles. Who made the beds all last week has no value compared with
who took the kids to the pools on Sunday.
Men will stay in full time employment until cleaning and child care are valued
higher as a rate of pay per hour. The dollar is in charge of this subject. Tell
your partner that you have just cut your child's hair and saved $15 and that
work will be valued. Cleaning the bathroom that morning may have taken longer
but it has a lower dollar value. Men know that trimming the trees and mowing the
grass is expensive if it is done by a professional. How much does it cost to pay
a family day care worker to look after your children for six hours? The gardener
earns more and it is visibly seen by the neighbours etc.
Men are only willing to do what it takes to be a good dad in the memories of
their children. They are also happy to do house work when it is a one off
occasion. Gardening is high in 'house points' because professionally it is
higher paid than feeding infants and patting them off to sleep.
If anyone thinks that men wish to swap roles with women then they really need to
talk to real men. Men like to be valued! Women that can earn more than their
male partner will perhaps be able to take the traditionally male role and work
full time, treat the children on the weekends and do the gardening on Saturday
morning - perhaps even be the netball coach. The roles of partners revolve
around the dollar and most of us understand that. When you talk about 'striking
a balance' what is it we are really balancing? You could say 'home duties and
opportunities' but the real answer for most couples would be the dollars. If the
dollars don't balance then neither does the house hold duties. If the male tips
the 'balance' because he earns more per hour, then why would he be the one to
work shorter hours and do the lower valued work?
Striking the balance of income - money coming in must at least be equal to money
going out. If both partners work then money coming in can pay for some of the
house hold duties and child care and there may still be a surplus of income. We
need to be clear about what exactly we are balancing. Work is equal to money.
I'm not crazy about the way in which things are but the balance isn't about to
change any time soon. The balance of money and respect for duties is what your
topic refers to - as work is money and money reflects respect.
Deb Hart
