HREOC Hearing 11th October, 2006
Thank you, for giving us the opportunity to speak at this hearing today - and to be able to give the parents perspective, regarding the inequalities, surrounding our lesbian daughters and gay sons.
I have brought Grainne Ridd with me a mother whose daughter is presently living in England where there is equal rights and [name with held] who has a son with health issues to tell their stories and concerns.
I am sure you would be aware that none of us are public speakers and we aren't experts on legislation but we are acutely aware of the every day injustices that our lesbian and gay children live with.
For myself, personally as a mother of 2 sons I find it very difficult to accept that our federal government - refuses to acknowledge one of my son's relationships in any way - regarding legislation and equality just because of his sexual orientation.
Equality is something that I automatically had assumed and always took for granted not only for myself but my children as well. That is until one of my sons disclosed that he was homosexual.
And then - to realise that because his sexual orientation isn't the common variety - the government openly discriminates against him and others like him who are in long term same sex relationships.
It is especially difficult to comprehend - that a country whose unofficial motto or thinking is "to give everyone a fair go"- actively works to discriminate against their own citizens for something they have neither chosen or want to be.
When young ones "come out" they know at best they will be disappointing family - and at worst fear they may be abandoned by those they love the most. Fortunately, many lesbians and gays end up happy in their life and thankfully my son is included in this group, but it's still a struggle initially until they and family members come to terms with their sexual diversity.
My son is only 29 years of age and I'm very proud of him living his life honestly and openly. And, if straight - he would have everything a parent could wish for, for their child. A career that he loves with rapid promotion, a partner of 8 years who cares about him, properties,

healthy finances, a new car, regular over seas holidays with his partner and a dog that adores him.
My son is also in a career where he has received bravery citations -and regularly puts his life on the line every day when he goes to work. The present federal government however, is quick to accept the taxes my son and his partner pay - without a twinge of conscience and give nothing in return. If this was my straight son it would be an entirely different story and a total non issue.
Presently, the federal government continues to deny them and others in similar situations the rights only they can provide, pensions, tax benefits etc. just because of their sexual orientation.
The only thing that will change this discrimination under present law is the ability to legalise the relationships with marriage or civil union and this as we know is denied to our same sex attracted children.
This recognition would instantly, provide the legal benefits, security, respect and recognition of their relationships that many are seeking. Some lesbians and gays like some heterosexuals are happy with a de facto relationship and this is fine - but they should have the choice.
And while this denial of rights continues - the government and society in general, reap the benefits of lesbians and gays talents and taxes but refuse to make any concessions - just making life difficult financially and uncertain for many. This continued discrimination and outdated thinking continues the age old marginalisation and homophobia still being directed towards the gay community today -and it's time it stopped.
If they did have recognition of rights - there would be less stigma, depression and less suicidal ideation because there would not be the fear and uncertainty of being "outed" that many live with on a daily basis, every day of the year.
This is just unfair and something we as heterosexuals can only think we understand or comprehend. We need to walk in their shoes to really understand how this feels.
And while this is happening - the general community benefits and my personal opinions is that the federal government is quite happy to take their taxes. The government profits by ignoring same sex couples

because they miss out on the rebates and benefits they'd receive if seen as a couple.
This continual denial of rights and tax relief is continually telling them they don't deserve the equality, privileges and same rights as their straight siblings.
My son and his partner like their straight siblings with their partners -have joint bank accounts, rental properties and shares but can't lessen the tax burden because the federal government is quick to state their relationship isn't valid like their heterosexual brothers and sisters.
Because same sex couples aren't covered under the definition of "spouse" in most employment situations under federal law, if my son was injured or permanently incapacitated in the line of duty - his partner would not be recognised as his partner or legal carer (as would a wife) and therefore would receive no carers benefits or pensions -and then be penalised with a higher threshold for pharmaceutical benefits and any other financial assistance - available to a heterosexual couple in the same position.
And worse if my son was killed it would be very unlikely that his partner would receive a superannuation payout without a struggle and to add insult to injury depending on my son's partners' employer could be denied bereavement leave or benefits. - These are things again - their straight sibling's will never have to be concerned about.
This constant discrimination - by the federal government - keeps homophobia in our general community bubbling along nicely. It's the governments duty to protect minorities not persecute them - And they seem to forget that the country should be run by the State not the church.
Fortunately for the gay community in Australia the States recognise many of their rights - but it needs the federal government to streamline the laws to simplify things and make laws uniform.
Presently, laws differ slightly between States so if or when a same sex couple move interstate they need to have their rights clarified. Again this is something as a heterosexual we don't need to be concerned about.

The US and Australia are the only first world countries going backwards regarding lesbian and gay rights. It's well and truly time that people stood up and spoke out.
Federal government can undo the majority of wrongs against same sex couples just by changing legislation and by making it clear to the general public through education and policy that homophobia and discrimination are no longer acceptable. And if they did this Australia would be a much better place for all.
Parents of PFLAG Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays don't want tolerance of our sons and daughters we want acceptance and we want equal rights not special rights, whether this be in their personal lives regarding relationships or in the workplace.
We don't want our gay sons and lesbian daughters feeling they need to keep personal lives secret. So many for fear of ostracism or contrived reasons for dismissal live double lives which causes untold hardship, stress, depression and feelings of lack of self worth.
As a heterosexual I could not imagine feeling that if asked I couldn't tell the truth in my workplace about myself generally, my weekend or my partner for fear of repercussion whether they be blatant or subtle. But this is what many lesbians and gays feel compelled to do. Only recently, I was speaking with a young lesbian who was sacked from her job in a law firm.
At a supervision session, she was told her work was good but she needed to give more of herself personally, so she disclosed she was lesbian and within a month, was sacked and when asked for the reason was told "the company couldn't give one".
Lesbians and gays come from all walks of life, are in all professions and trades and it needs to be recognised that they contribute to society in many ways and should be able to take their rights and freedoms for granted as we heterosexuals do in this country.
They haven't broken any law they just have a sexual orientation that is considered a natural human variant by the American Psychiatric Assoc. and Aust. Psychological Assoc. that is neither chosen or an easier lifestyle as some suggest.

Desmond Tutu believes that the continued discrimination against same sex couples that still exists today is similar to apartheid in South Africa. The gays still - like the blacks were - are blamed and persecuted for something over which they have no control.
Much of the problem comes from the exclusion of the term "spouse" regarding same sex couples and the compulsory inclusion of "man and woman" in marriage or civil unions for heterosexual couples and "next of kin" only applies to couples in heterosexual relationships.
The federal government didn't even make any provision to count same sex couples in the 2006 census - and then if people hadn't complained about this omission - they would have had the gall to state "there aren't any that many anyway" because they didn't show in the census. Presently, federal politicians are like ostriches with their heads in the sand, naively trying to hide.
The momentum is building and PFLAG parents across Australia strongly believe that the federal government's continual contempt -and denial of the rights - and recognition of same sex couples are denying them and their families any social progress, - inherent dignity and inalienable rights that we as heterosexuals take for granted.
And we believe it's time that our gay sons and lesbian daughters were seen as equals in the eyes of their government and fellow Australians.
Thank you for listening.